In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Audience of One.”
Today’s writing assignment is to write to the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog.
After four missed calls and a frantic message, I called back to let them know they had the wrong number, who they called was NOT the local dentist. The woman on the other end apologized profusely and went on to explain that she was in the local battered women’s shelter and someone borrowed her phone.
Upon assuring her that it was not a problem, I said “God Bless you and keep you in perfect peace” and she said “wow, your voice is enveloping me with a sense of comfort and understanding”, she then went on to share that she had just fled days before from a very mentally, emotionally and financially abusive marriage and that she had just accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, (while in the shelter) I assured her she was on the right track, and to keep on keeping on, I asked her if I could say a prayer for her and gave her some reading recommendations.
She started to inquire as to the undeniable comfort she was receiving from me, she felt understood, I shared that I too fled 20 months ago from a 29 year relationship, 25 of it married to a very mentally, emotionally and financially abusive man.
She started crying and shared that just that morning in her prayers she asked that God send her His comfort and direction, and that she was overcome with a sense of Peace, she said “ma’am you are sent by God today and an answer to my specific prayer, this was not by accident that my phone was borrowed and the wrong number dialed, my Faith has just grown immeasurable”
This lady “Stacy” is the one person in the world I really wish is reading my blog…
Stacy, everyday is the first day of the rest of your life, you will never get back a minute of any one day, once gone that is all that will be of it, so make every moment of your life count. Try and REJOICE and BE HAPPY!
What you have experienced, is tragic and nothing and no one will ever be able to completely comprehend what you suffered and why you allowed the suffering to go on as long as you did, not even you, with that said, it is over and now you get to choose your life, your moments, your people that you will allow to be in it.
You asked me, ‘when do the tears stop flowing so often?’, friend I have been out, as I said, for over 20 months and if I go a full 24 hours without crying, it’s surprising. My goal for so long was to not cry for a 24 hour period, when I gave that silly goal up, and realized that crying is not a weakness but an acknowledgement of sorts and dealt with the thoughts that were causing me the tears, is when I began to heal and grow.
Please do not dwell on the “Why Me?” “What does the future hold?”, the anger with the abuser or seeking any type of revenge, all these thoughts keep you trapped and his victim, instead look ahead, vision what you want your life to be, write it down, take deep breaths and thank God for where you are at and where you are going to go and dive deep and often into His precious Word, it is there you will discover what True Love is and you won’t settle for anything less than Him again.
The Battle will always be in your mind, so start learning how to fight the good fight that will go on between your ears, protect your mind, if former thoughts try to find a familiar place, rebuke them, discard them, and immediately put positive thoughts in. YOU MUST REPROGRAM yourself!
Stacy you shared that life seems so hard right now because it is all so unfamiliar and you have entertained the thoughts of going back, because at least you know your enemy and you became comfortable being uncomfortable, that there was a sense of being needed, because without you, there was no one for him to control, manipulate and abuse and all of this was a (sick) way of feeling wanted.
Friend, you were created by our Heavenly Father and as you read His love letter to you, soon you will discover you were NOT created to be used, abused, oppressed, manipulated and controlled, but to be blessed to be a blessing. He wants to shower you with His love and goodness and work through you to show a hurting and dying world His goodness. The only way that I have been able to know Him is by being in His word, the Bible, it is there that I can read one story after another of how He worked in and through the lives of so many and start to completely understand His character and be inspired and encouraged.
Stacy, your new found love relationship with God, will be tried and tested, not by Him but by the evil that is in this world, but the more you go through and lean on and press into Him, the stronger you will grow and more blessed you will become. Continue to seek Him and ask Him (as you would an earthly father) to bring the right people in your life, to cross your path, to direct you and protect you. DO NOT at any point take the lead, step out from His direction, or think that you know what He is doing and leap ahead, but if you do my friend, He is right there, turn around and run back to Him, ask Him for forgiveness and direction, and most importantly ACCEPT the forgiveness and Peace that He gives!
When the feelings of hopelessness and despair hit you like a freight train, and all the rebuking and trying not to think about or dwell on the past and unknown circumstances ahead overwhelm you, when the tears drench everything in their path and your breathing seems so labored, friend CRY out to God, seek Him as searching for a lost child and then STOP, try and take a deep breath and let Him love on you, comfort you and refresh you! Look at and touch everything around you, recognize the breaths coming in and out of you, start thanking God for where you are at and what He is doing and all the positive things in your life. And try to remember what got you to this place of such negative emotions and try to never allow yourself to venture there again.
Before I close, I want to say a prayer for you, Dear Heavenly Father I ask that you be with Stacy and all others that are victims of abuse, whether mentally, physically, emotionally or financially, that you would reveal Yourself to them in a way that is real and personal, that you would flood them with Your Peace and Comfort and continuously direct and protect them. That Lord you would Bless them indeed and enlarge their territory that Your hand be with them always keeping them from harm and evil and you cause them no pain, that you continue to open doors in their lives that no man can shut and that you shut doors in their lives that no man can open, that you would work in and through them and those around them to show yourself strong in kindness, love and acceptance, In Jesus Name!